I hope you girls all had a beautiful Mother’s Day! I skipped my standard Weekend Deals + Steals post this weekend and wanted to share some random thoughts on Motherhood and a few things i’ve learned along the way….
First off I just wanted to show some looove to all my mama readers. I feel like since having the kids I have quite a few mama “frollowers” (that’s friends/followers:) on here now so thank you all SO much for following along with us! I hope you all had the best day yesterday.
We had a low key and relaxing one complete with a homemade breakfast in bed (which turned out to be a communal breakfast;)
and the sweetest little homemade book from miss Ava.
I’ve kind of waited my whole life for these little books! (… but 39?! Girl don’t age me 😉
Some sweets with my sweets
He asked for chocolate, traded for my mint chocolate chip and then stole bites from sissy’s chocolate sprinkled banana…the little brother struggle is REAL friends!
My Off the Shoulder Top // Sunnies // Wide Brim Hat // Boyfriend Jeans and Sandals
Ava’s Dress and Gladiator Sandals
Luca’s Black Polo , Shorts and Checkered Vans
Mother’s Day had me reflecting on the last 5 years since becoming a mom (I still CAN NOT believe it’s been 5 years!) so I wanted to share some random thoughts and a few things i’ve learned along the way…..
first things first…
Don’t be fooled by the highlight reel
I say this time and time again but please “don’t compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel”. It is only that… a highlight reel. I do feel super blessed but please know that life is NOT always perfect over here either. My kids melt down at the Target checkout counter, I have my hot mess days too and my house looks like a toddler tornado hit at least 3 times a day. It’s called a highlight reel for that reason….because people are only sharing the best parts of their lives. It’s so easy to get caught up and feel like everyone else’s lives are perfect (and I am totally guilty of feeling that way too) but just know that it’s not always perfect here either.
Do Your Best
I’ll be the first to admit that pre kids I had a lonnnng mental list of the things I would never do when I had my own children.Well fast forward 5 years and two kiddos later and that list is LONNNG gone. From breast feeding to pacifiers to sleep training and vaccinations someone always has something to say. Just know that everyone will offer up their tips, tricks and “advice” but take it with a grain of salt because what works for someone else may not work for you. At the end of the day YOU know what’s best for your family. As long as you try your best everyday, those babes will know they’re loved!
Make Time for Your Significant Other
Life was hectic with one kid but once we had a second the “us time” really took a hit. You sometimes feel like two trains passing in the night. With both of us working, juggling two kids and a new home build it has been hard finding the time for “us”. We started doing a weekly date night about 6 months ago and can not tell you how much we look forward to (and NEED) it. Half the time we don’t even make a reservation anywhere. We just want to go sit at a bar (bc you can’t do that with the kiddos;) and eat dinner. Having that us time to reconnect (and have an uninterrupted conversation 😉 is all we need!
Finding that Balance
…if you girls have found it please let me know, because i’m still looking 😉 You will hear that often but it’s so true. It’s a constant struggle trying to juggle everything. I try my best but at the end of the day something ALWAYS feels like it’s being neglected. If I kick ass with my blog and social posts then usually my workout or me time is neglected or vice versa. It feels like there are never enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things I want. I’m learning to just do what I can and sllllowly understanding that it’s okay not being able to do it all. (still a work in progress on that one)
Don’t Lose Your Sense of Self (make time for you!)
I’ve mentioned this in the past but still maintaining that sense of self after kids is something that I think is SO important.You moms know how crazy life can be between school, playdates, sports, appointments and just life in between. It’s far too easy to be completely consumed by it all and put yourself on the back burner. The kids and hubby will always be at the top of my priority list but I knew I always wanted to have something for me. I started blogging before I had kids (can you believe it?!) and The Honeybee is that little space for me. I will forever be thankful for it and for YOU girls. This is my little outlet, community and creative space for me to be me. Whatever your passion is…whether it’s blogging, yoga or starting a small business venture I HIGHLY encourage you girls to go for it and take that little bit of time for you! Having that little something for myself makes me a happier mama and wife!
Make Mama Friends
Oh yes this is a MUST! Definitely still make time for your pre kiddo friends but there’s no better hood than mommy hood! 😉 Finding a solid group of mama friends is SO important. I was the first out of all my friends to have kids. I tried my best to keep up with my non parent friends but eventually those 9pm dinners just weren’t sounding as appealing anymore (bc you know those 6:30 wake ups were still happening no matter what time I roll in). I didn’t do a lot of playdates or group classes when Ava was young for some reason so I really didn’t get to make a lot of mama friends right off the bat.
I finally met my first mom friends when I started taking Ava to the gym with me (which wasn’t till she was around 1.5) and it was so nice FINALLY having friends that could relate to all the things I was going through as a new mom. Honestly the first year of motherhood for me was a huge adjustment and It probably would have been much better if I had made some mom friends sooner. So to all you new moms…get out there and socialize! Sign up for mommy and me classes, bring your kids to the gym with you or they even have mom groups on FB too. Having a core group of mama friends that you can relate to is priceless!
and lastly Have a Drank (…you deserve it)
I’m not gonna lie, I feel like I am a better mom after a glass of wine. I try my best to hold out for Friday but lawwwrd knows sometimes I just don’t make it 😉 I thought it was supposed to get easier as they get older but the last few months I feel like we have regressed and these kids are just on another level?! I swear they are like little zombies feeding off each others craziness lol okay maybe not zombies but you know what I mean 😉 I wish I could just bottle up half of their energy. So needless to say coffee and wine are two staples in our household so #treatYoSelf!
If you’re a mama, you already know how hard some days can be. Even with all the craziness, stress and exhaustion that comes along with it you know you wouldn’t trade ANY of it for the world! There’s truly nothing like feeling the love and purpose that these babes give on a daily. So that’s my randomness for the day 😉 I hope you all had a beautiful Mother’s Day!
I am blinking back tears reading this. It’s just so relatable. But I will say that for all the crazy, all the tantrums (lawd have mercy the tantrums…… #threenager), all the sleepless nights and frazzled days, I wouldn’t trade it for a minute. 🙂 Happy Momma’s Day!! XO
awww thanks so much mama so glad you can relate too. There are some crrrrazy frustrating days but wouldn’t trade it for anything xo
Such a great post Andee…and I hear you on SO many things…esp the importance of mama friends and the need for pursuing me time. Also the balance issue – it always feels like something is neglected – but blogging is such an amazing outlet that I don’t want to give it up! Love your blog <3
right?! You have to have those mamas friends that totally get what you’re going through. And couldnt agree more about the blogging! It has been such a huge part of my life that has helped keep me sane ;))
Well, your last paragraph about not trading any of it made me cry! So true, even after the crazy A** days. Thanks for always keeping it real!
Aww!! It feels like I wrote this myself!! So true, our kids are exact same age and gender and my little Lucas although the sweetest mamas boy, is such a stinkin handful! I busted out the Moscato this week and took a bath (with both the kiddos) either way it helps for sure!!! Everything you said is so true and I feel like it does take some time and self growth to feel comfortable in your mom role. I still wonder what the hell am I even doing half the time! I love that you have this blog because it is hard to find mom friends that can relate because like you said so many are very opinionated and judgy unfortunately. I started following you when Ava was 2 I think and I had a 3 year old, then shortly after we were pregnant I think with our boys at the same time. I would always check your blog to see how you were doing and it is a frollower relationship!! Happy mommy day to you girl, you make it look amazing, especially at 39😉😉😉😉😜😘
glad to know i’m not the only one who sometimes gets bogged down by the “highlight reel”. it’s so difficult not to though! i have to second mom friends, these are the women you don’t have to apologize to when your kid smacks their kid with a toy. i wouldn’t be able to get through my week without at least one wine and kid play date. Thanks for keeping it real Andre!
no i totally get the highlight reel blues too 😉 and girl hell yes to mama friends and that much needed glass of wine! When I meet moms that don’t drink I’m like…bless you ;))))
Omg I am literally almost in tears here at work reading this! This journey is hard and satisfying at the same time and your words really do make us moms feel better because it means that we are all pretty much feeling the same way! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and for being so honest about things. It really does help! You are seriously awesome 🙂 XOXO
awww you’re so welcome love! and thank you for following along with us!! xo
Andee thank you so much for keeping it real with this post 🙂 Love you and seeing your sweet kiddos in your blog. I’ve learned so much about nutrition and healthy living, so thanks so much for the Honey Bee health posts too. I know you, like me and all mama’s, struggle to get our workouts in but, I would love to see a post on that sometime. BTW I picked up Bethenney Frankels book, after seeing you mentioned it a few times, and think she has some great points on nutrition. I see how you use those principals in your snaps of eating. Great job Mama Andee 🙂 xoxo Teri
awww thank you so much Teri! That is SO nice to hear and thank you for following along with us! I haven’t read the Bethenny Frankel book in yearssss but I totally still remember some of her tips and agree with so many of them!
Oh my goodness, so many of the “tips” couldn’t be more true! I especially relate to the regression of kids. Mine are five and three and I think some days that this is the most difficult stage for them both! (Well, the threenager explains itself! They truly have more independence, both of them do, to be able to help with daily tasks but wow…not sure about these last few weeks…come on summer and thank you wine!
Also, props to Ava for writing “39” on your mother’s day card…I got “73”…bahahaha…..and I’m 36!
right?! two and five over here and its straight up crazy town lately! lol and 73 ?! haahahhahaahah okay ill take 39! 😉
Thank you for keeping it real! Being a mother is amazing but man is it hard!!!! Here’s to more date nights with husbands and lots more wine!
you’re so welcome babe and ammmmen! xoox
I really love your smile, I mean we can read happiness and love in your face, and it makes me smile !
I’m still far from having kids but I love reading about your Mommy tips – it’s reassuring in a strange way to make motherhood less overwhelming and scary because it’s something that scares me haha
It seems like you’re doing an amazing job and I think that the most important thing in anything in life… do your best!!